However, in some bizarre karma twist, if you're a nice girl, womanizers seem to be able to sniff you out and pretend to like you just long enough to suck you in and then spit you out.
In fact, womanizers are very masterful at ONLY one thing: they woo you sufficiently long to capture your attention, then you decide that you need that attention in your life to be happy, and just when you think you may actually have found a great guy with whom to be consistently happy, they do something hurtful to make you understand that you're not in control of the relationship.
Womanizers build you up, build you up, build you up with attention and flattery, then they sucker punch you right off of the pedestal they built for you in the first place.
Very classy.
You are left sprawling around on the figurative floor, rubbing your sore spots and wonderful what the hell just happened??
So how does a nice girl cope with this hurtful behavior???
By serving the BS that he doles out to you right back to him for his supper!
Oh boy, can this be fun, even if it is not in your nature to be mean!
You're not actually being mean, you are simply following his lead. ☺
Some examples:
Example 1. You moved in with him because he begged you to, and now the bastard likes to go out at night all the time with his buddies. He doesn't want you to go with him, he doesn't answer his cell phone when he's out, and he rolls back in about 4 hours later than he said he would, stinking of alcohol. You'd like to ask him a bunch of questions about where he's been, but he passes out on the sofa. You lose another night's sleep, and then more sleep the rest of the week while you lie awake wondering what to do about this asshole...
What to do: Apparently this one works wonders, some of my girlfriends have told me...
You go out the very next night to see one of your girlfriends. You stay the night at her house, turn off your cell phone, enjoy some wine and hilarious conversations, relax, get some sleep. You then roll back in at around 6 am, just in time to shower for work. When you are greeted in the hallway by a screaming gorilla, you wait for his tirade to end, and then you calmly and sweetly tell him that you thought it would be okay to go out for the night and not answer your cell phone because he does that to you ALL THE TIME!
Trust me, he'll get the message.
Example 2: You're out having a great date, and, at the end of the night, he says that he wants to see you again. You say "okay!", you giggle, and you get all excited about having more fun with this gentleman. He says "Okay! Let's do next Saturday again. How 'bout 8pm again? I'll come pick you up and we'll go out for dinner."
You spend the rest of the week distracted, thinking about what you're going to wear on the outside as well as underneath, you stop eating in an attempt to lose 3 pounds, and your work productivity goes down the tube. Thursday night approaches, and he hasn't called to confirm, then Friday night, then Saturday is here. You wonder if you should call him, but an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach tells you that that would be a very bad idea - he has probably forgotten about you! You don't want to appear desperate so you sit by the phone until 8 pm. No call. You spend the rest of the evening in the company of a giant tub of Ben and Jerry.
What to do: Trust me ladies, if you haven't heard from him by Thursday night, that follow-up date ain't happening, so get on the phone to any MALE friends that you have (they have to be male), and offer to take them out for a movie that Saturday night. Your gay male friends will be the best company because you're probably not in any fit state for flirting and you'll need some good laughs that night. Turn off your cell phone.
When bozo eventually gets back in touch, and asks, very casually (because they like to return to the crime scene), how your weekend was, you have the perfect reply: "Sam and I went to a movie and had a blast!"
He'll think twice about blowing you off in the future, if you still want this rude jerk in your future.
Example 3: The backhanded compliment...he asks you to make dinner, you bust your ass all day thinking about what to make, then making it. He sits down to your perfectly laid table, and tells you that, well, your meal is "okay."
He spends all day flirting with you over the internet, writing compliments to you and hinting about going out on a date. He then asks for a photo. You send him your most fave photo of you, one where you don't look fat and your skin doesn't look too oily. He replies to you that your photos looks "great."
He takes you out for the evening (he asked), spends half the evening checking out other women, and then pronounces, at some point (after a couple of beers), "now that's an ass!" Only it's not your ass he's talking about.
Before you go crying in the bathroom stall, or lose more sleep over whether you really are too fat or really do have bad skin, or your behind is not a desirable part of your body, here's how you can reclaim some of your dignity...
1. demand that he make you a meal the next night, because he's so very, very good at cooking, a real chef. Once the meal shows up, tell him, with a big smile on your face, that it's "okay!"
2. After you've recovered from hearing that your most beautiful photo looks only "great", ask him for a photo back, say that you can't remember his face very well when you close your eyes. Once that photo arrives, email back telling him that his photos looks "great too!"
3. The next time you go out on a date, ogle other men (I know that this can be a hard thing to do if you're a good girl). Make it really obvious, enjoy it as much as he does. Then, when the waiter approaches your table, state out loudly "now that's a package!"
When you see the Womanizer's eyes start to brim with tears, and his voice falters as he realizes that some woman has just placed him out of his comfort zone, you'll feel a little better after that sucker punch and realize that you just gave one back.
Oh the other hand, putting up with lousy behavior from men is really a big waste of time.
You have to decide whether you're willing to play silly games for your man, and I personally refuse to.
Scoundrels extremely rarely turn into gentlemen, but you can help that transformation by simply refusing to play games at all. He doesn't compliment your cooking? Cook for some other man. He doesn't follow through with dates? Decide that you're too busy for such nonsense and stop dating him. He stares at other women when you go out? Don't go out with him anymore!
Give the impression of being an independent woman who doesn't take crap from men, and all of a sudden you will find yourself surrounded by gentlemen (i.e., the womanizers will steer clear of you and the nice guys will treat you well).
Life is too short to be unhappy.
Don't put up with crap. ♡
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